Mt. Washington's Finest

Sometimes you just have to sit back and realize the small accomplishments often mean more than the big ones. If you celebrate every time you crack your back or clean your room you won't feel like such a loser because you didn't finish college. Truthfully, I don't think college means shit. A bunch of mindless teenagers forced to pick a career for the rest of their lives (no big deal right?) and then gathering in large auditoriums to learn details about whatever unfathomable mundane career they choose.

After four years of classes and courses and credits and cash 95% end up doing something they hadn't ever dreamed...working at Qdoba...bartending...stripping...whatever pays the bills. I never made it through the four years, I still don't have the paper that says I'm smart, I'm hireable, I can stick with it. I'll still settle for the incredibly underrated title of Barmaid. Barmaid. Barmaid. It's what I am, it's everything I've become, it's the last ten years of my life and here I am trying to blog my way to success.

So who wins the game? The flip of the coin? My question of all questions...does college really count? Do I need it to make it? We'll see. Until then. Sit back, lemme make ya a drink.

...and here I am staring at this stupid computer screen...only this time I'm ready to write about something other than sports and steroids. Slowly, really slowly, I've finally figured out what it takes to be a happy woman. I'm still working on how to let men inhabit the Earth as well.

So let's get to it, no sense wasting anymore time than I already have.

I wish love and relationships were really like Sex and the City and the bullshit shows that make it seem at the end of the day Mr. Big is going to come back. He'll pick you up in the limo with a bottle of champagne and chase after you all the way to Paris. It's bad enough we grew up with Disney movies now HBO is creating characters like Mr. Big? They did get one thing right--a really sweet pair of shoes always helps a woman look on the bright side.

This is the brutal honesty ladies. This is coming from a professional fuck up of relationships and anything intimate whatsoever. These are the things you're mother didn't have the heart or the time to tell you. Also the poppy, happy, lyrical vocal stylings of Beyonce doesn't quite cover EVERYthing you need to know about men but she puts in a good effort. If I were a boy I'd would turn off my phone too! You go girl!

Times are not like they used to be.

Every man is a dog... If he likes you than he'll let you put a leash on him...oh...oh...oh...oh..oh..